Rain Songs

We stop just at the edge of the blue and green awning. William looks down at me speculatively and then across the ten feet of open space toward the car. The rain is pouring in sheets from the awning, and it has just dawned on both of us that an umbrella would have been a good idea. As we stand there, preparing for that cold, wet sprint to the car, the driver's door opens and a bright purple umbrella pops up over the top of the car.

A tall woman unfolds her lithe frame from the car, tossing lengths of dark hair from her face before coming around the car to meet us. I can see that she is glaring at William as she comes toward us, but her look of disapproval quickly fades into a smile. Even before that smile softens her face, I find myself amazed by how incredibly beautiful she is. In fact, I find myself speechless when she looks to me to ask, "Did you forget to take a bath this morning or did William just forget it was raining?"

Her smile is as infectious as it is beautiful. I feel it beginning to melt the pain in me as she reaches for my hand. I take her hand without conscious thought, feeling the warmth and reassurance of her touch. I still can not smile, but the beauty and unfeigned love echoed in her smile as well as her eyes are more than enough for both of us.

William finds words before I do, "Neesa, you know that I had a long night..."

He pauses in his defense as if he does not want to continue but will if she presses the issue. Neesa purses her lips a little as if she is contemplating his words. Then she tilts her head down long enough to peer into my eyes, smile, and wink. Raising her head back up to survey William's face, she glares disapprovingly for a second, but her lips quickly twist back into a warm smile.

"Yes, William, and we all appreciate what you do for all of us, so go home and get some sleep."

He nods to her and sinks to his knees to give me a hug, "You take care and be good."

"Okay," I reply, a little surprised by his gentleness.

As he turns away, I think I see tears in his eyes, but have no time to question it, as Neesa gently pulls me under her umbrella and guides me to the car, "Come on, Bellabooo. Time to go make some new friends."

We walk in slow silence toward the car. All that can be heard is the slapping splashes of the rain on the pavement and grass, the dull roar of the motor, and the swish swish swish of the windshield wipers as they try to fend off the pelting rain. Neesa does not break this peaceful silence. I feel almost that she knows that I will not respond if she speaks. I catch her watching me out of the corner of her eye, but whatever she is thinking, she doesn't let the smile fade from her lips.

We reach the car without my having spoken a single word to her, which somehow makes me feel victorious. No battle has been waged and nothing about her implies that I should have any animosity toward her. Yet, here I stand, wanting to feel rebellious and not wanting to let anyone else into my heart. At the same time, I can't help but feel protected and drawn to every one of the superdudes that I have met. They are like the family I never knew I had, but no matter what, they will never replace the once I have spent my whole life being a part of.

As I am pondering this and forcing back a fresh wave of tears, Neesa opens the rear door for me. She waits patiently while I compose myself before I clamber into the car and arrange my backpack on my lap, hugging it tightly to my chest. Then she walks gracefully around the car, snapping her umbrella closed and slipping behind the steering wheel in one fluid movement. She smiles at me as she locks her seatbelt into place.

"Buckle up, darling," she says, looking over her shoulder at me.

"Okay," I reply, releasing my embrace on my backpack to place it on the seat beside me so I can fumble with the seatbelt.

"Know any other words?" She asks with a grin.

I just stare back at her. My heart may have begun to melt, but her beauty still intimidates me into silence. She continues to look at me for a minute, waiting for a response. I can see her smile fading a little bit, but she flashes me another one before turning around and easing the car out onto the road. She adjusts the rearview mirror, as she reaches toward the stereo and says, "I think I may just have some music that will cheer you up."

As the music starts, she begins to sing along. I find myself enthralled by the upbeat music, which is obviously made for children. I am also enchanted by how her voice blends so well with the music and adds new depths to it. I am not familiar with the first song, but the second is the familiar song about the "Itsy Bitsy Spider". I find myself unconsciously singing along.

By the time, we reach the school, I am feeling considerably better. I have even learned that Neesa is not only a superdude, but also a talented gymnast. It occurs to me that being a gymnast probably wouldn't hurt when fighting the minions of Decay, so I beg her to teach me if she gets a chance.

"Why, of course, darling, but I've already heard about you from LLK. We'll have to work on my terms. Can't have you hurting yourself," she says as she pulls into the parking lot.

As the rain is still pouring, I wait for her to come around with the umbrella before getting out of the car. She takes my hand again like my mother did on my very first day of school. She carefully keeps step with me though her legs seem infinitely longer than mine. We resume our silence for the walk. This silence is influenced by my nervousness about my new surroundings.

I recognize the principal's office immediately. The outer office has three panes of glass for walls. I can clearly see the secretary with her hair pulled back efficiently and a warm smile on her face as she greets another woman whose daughter clings tightly to her hand. I almost remember being so young that I was afraid that letting go of my mother would be the most terrible thing I could do. I almost remember feeling the fear that is so clearly etched on this girl's face as she sobs and pleads with her mother to not leave her here with all these new faces.

I, however, am much too old to feel like that now. Even if it were my mother at my side, I would not cling so tightly or weep so bitterly. I admit that Neesa's hand in mine is comforting, but if she left me to do this myself, I am sure I would be able to handle it. As I think this, she drops my hand and fishes around in the bag she has casually draped over one shoulder.

"Ah, here you are," she says to a manila envelope as she extracts it from her bag, to me she says, "Could you get the door, Bella, darling."

"Yes," I reply, pulling the door open to let out the other girl's sobs.

"Momma, please, momma, I don't have to go to school. Please..."

"Marjorie, calm down, you know I'll come back for you this afternoon and you'll make so many new friends that you may not even want to return with me," the mother replies.

The secretary gives directions to the girl's classroom and then turns to Neesa, "Bringing your daughter in for her first day of classes?"

"My ward, actually," Neesa replies matter-of-factly, "I have her transfer papers from her old school and proof of guardianship."

She hands the manila envelope to the secretary who scans them briefly and nods approvingly, "Everything seems to be in order."

"I have a lot of errands to run, and Bella is a big girl, is it okay if she finds her way to class without me?" Neesa says.

"Oh, of course, of course. She looks like an independent little girl. We'll take good care of her and she'll be waiting for you this afternoon."

"She is, and I know she will be waiting for me. Be good, Bella, and take care of yourself," Neesa says and her eyes speak volumes more than her words.

Then she turns to go. I feel myself about to be tossed back onto the stormy seas and my tongue takes its own counsel, "Neesa."

"Yes, darling," she replies, turning back to me.

"Can we sing rain songs on the way home?"

"Of course, darling."

She winks at me again. I know that she understands all the questions that my heart screams though my tongue will never repeat them. I know that I am safe for now. I find peace in this, but I wonder how quickly that peace will shatter.