How Fast They Grow Up

The morning is pain. Every part of my being aches more than I have ever felt it ache before. Even my first day of training in the arena did not leave me with such pain. I roll over to rise and find that I can not move. My arms and chest feel trapped within my nightshirt. Confused, I flex a little bit and feel cooler air wash over me as the seams of the arms give lose and a tear stretches down the center of the front.

My head explodes in pain at that instant and I lose consciousness again. Darkness takes over me, but the darkness only lasts a moment. It seems I dream half a lifetime. I am amazed by some of the things that I dream. I dream that I am learning about distant countries, even learning their languages. I dream that I am traveling the world. I dream that numbers and equations are flowing toward me, through me, and I understand all of this.

When I awake again, I expect to find that this has all been a vivid but pointless dream. Instead, I awake to find Leda next to me on my bed. She is gently sponging my forehead with cold water.

"Are you my Bellabooo? Are you truly?" She asks with such sincerity and concern.

For a moment, I can not respond, and when I do I wish I had not. A richer, more sultry voice than any that has escaped my lips replies for me, "Yes, why would you ask that?"

"Bella, honey, you may have to brace yourself for this one," Neesa's gentle voice assures me from the other side.

I turn to look at her curiously, "What's going on? Was I in another accident? Is that why my voice sounds so strange?"

"What was the last thing you remember?" Leda asks.

"I woke up and my shirt was too tight. I think it must have caused me to black out," I say.

"Before that?" Neesa prompts.

"I was crying myself to sleep..." I begin.

"And?" Leda asks.

"Well, I wished I was a woman like you and Neesa are," I reply.

They give each other a meaningful look and then each grabs an arm and helps me to sit up. I can't believe how helpless and unable to control my own body I feel. My muscles respond sluggishly as if I have not used them in a long time. My head swims as they help me across the room. I can't figure out what they are doing and my confusion is not washed away as I look into the full length mirror to see a strange woman looking back at me from between them in the mirror. Aside from the fact, that she is for all intents and purposes naked in what appear to be my clothes, she is also breathtakingly beautiful. In fact, she resembles my mother.

Dark eyes pour out tears as my own eyes are washed into blindness. I feel myself slipping again.

"Leda, don't let go of her," Neesa says as her grip tightens.

They gently lower me to the ground and my awareness fades out again.

~~~

When next I awake, Neesa is still at my side. She is looking at me with a thoughtful pout. I feel less constricted, so I look down to find that my tiny clothes have been replaced by ones closer to my size. I believe they must be Leda's because the ends of the jeans dangle well past my toes. The top fits me rather nicely despite being a bit long. I observe all of this as I sit up again. My head swims, but after a few deep breaths I feel better.

"Baby Bella, do you have any idea what you've done?" Neesa asks me.

"Skipped the pain of my ongoing childhood," I respond.

"Missed out on growing up," she says, "You've missed out on so much and it won't hurt any less."

I shrug miserably, feeling the unusual shift of my chest. For some reason noticing this makes me blush. I look down at the floor, wiggling my toes and watching the edge of my pants dance around my slender foot.

"Leda went to find out what we're going to do with you now."

"What?" I say, feeling a deep worry shrinking in around my chest.

"Oh, honey, that didn't come out right. I just mean that you can't stay here. Even here such a change will cause a commotion, if only because the boys won't be able to help but notice you."

She reaches out to brush a stray lock of hair back from my face as she says this. I suddenly remember my scars. I don't remember seeing them in the mirror, but perhaps I was too overwhelmed by the astonishing changes of my body. I stand up and walk on wobbling legs to the mirror. I peer into its depths, leaning closer so that my breath creates a thin film on the glass. Even then I can only see a thin hint of a scar. My dark brows furrow together as I peer at my reflection.

What's to become of me? I don't even know who I am anymore. I certainly don't recognize this almost flawless face in the mirror. I begin crying again, like a child, but sounding so much more miserable as a woman than I ever did as a little girl. My chest heaves and shakes and I sink my head into Neesa's shoulder as she puts an arm around me.

"It'll be okay, Bella, I just hope you're ready to become the woman you wished yourself into."

She pats my hair gently and holds me, still as a mother would hold her child though I am a child no more. We stand like this, waiting for my world to end or begin anew.